Daphne And Irina. Show 1 Guide

(puts phone down) Whoa. That was almost profound. Say it again so I can pretend I thought of it first.

Welcome to Daphne and Irina . Show one. We have no plan. We have no producer. And we are definitely not okay.

No, you don’t. You love it. Because for once, you’re not the one writing the script. Daphne And Irina. Show 1

(smiles tightly) No, darling. Something I’m exhausted by. There’s a difference. Control is a rental agreement with anxiety. You think you’re the landlord. You’re not. You’re the tenant who’s afraid of the boiler.

(sits across from her) You don’t need to borrow my lines. You have chaos. Chaos is its own kind of control, you know. You keep everything messy so no one expects you to hold anything together. (puts phone down) Whoa

Fruit cartography. You’ve lost your mind. (She finally looks up) What’s the theme of today’s show, by the way? Last week was “Do I have a personality, or just good taste?” The week before was “Is my ex a narcissist or just French?”

You’re a monster.

(long pause. Then a slow grin.) That’s not profound. That’s mean . I love it. (beat) Okay, Show 1, Rule 1: Daphne is not allowed to arrange anything for the rest of the day.