“Turnip. Protocol ‘Good Boy.’”
They were Pibbles. Pug-huahuas. A single, fluffy Great Pyrenees. And a three-legged Chihuahua named Princess Buttercup who snarled like a chainsaw.
His rig coughed to a stop outside the Bullet Farm. The gate creaked open, and out stomped Warlord Scrotus Jr., twice as mean as his old man and half as smart. Behind him, chained to a post, was a beast that looked like a bulldog crossbred with a bear trap.
One by one, the enemy dogs stopped. They sat. They tilted their heads. They wanted that . The calm. The treat. The clicker. Mad Max Trainer Fling UPD
Her war dogs—matted, overfed, and vibrating with unearned confidence—leaped from the buggies. They did not attack. They peed on tires. They rolled in dead fish. One tried to hump a war boy’s leg.
“Witchcraft,” the Warlord whispered.
Turnip ran. Not to fight. To demonstrate. He sat. He stayed. He did a perfect weave between the war boy’s legs. Then he looked at the Collective’s dogs and gave a single, calm boof . “Turnip
A dust storm roared in, but it wasn’t weather. It was a fleet of dune buggies flying the flag of the Pampered Pooch Collective —a rival gang who believed dogs should never be trained, only “expressed.” Their leader, a woman named Velvet Lash with chrome-plated fingernails, shrieked through a loudspeaker:
“Release the captive canines, oppressor! Free shaping is fascism!”
Max picked up the Pomeranian, tucked it into his jacket, and looked at the defeated gang. “Training isn’t breaking. It’s speaking. And you,” he added, tossing a bag of dehydrated liver treats to Scrotus Jr., “need to start with basic sit-stay. No more spare tires.” A single, fluffy Great Pyrenees
WITNESS HIM. Witness the sit.
It was chaos.
Max just held up a new leather muzzle. “Now. The puppy class.”
“Positive reinforcement,” Max said. “Not ‘no.’ ‘Wait.’ Not ‘attack.’ ‘Settle.’” He clicked a small metal clicker he’d salvaged from a pre-apocalypse pet store. Giblet’s ears perked.