Princess Protection Program Now

But that weirdness is its strength. It is a movie about two girls who are both trapped by other people's expectations—Rosie by the crown, Carter by her fear of being "girly." They learn that strength is not about rejecting who you are, but about choosing who you want to be.

Suddenly, the Princess Protection Program agents pull out spy gadgets, Carter whips a baseball bat like a ninja, and Rosie delivers a speech about democracy while wearing a prom dress. It is absurd. It is chaotic. And it is awesome . Princess Protection Program

When the big dance competition arrives (because it’s a Disney movie, of course there is a dance competition), Carter learns that vulnerability isn't weakness, and Rosie learns that strength isn't cruelty. Rosie teaches Carter how to stand up straight. Carter teaches Rosie how to slide into home base. They don't erase each other; they complete each other. We have to talk about Donny (Matt Prokop). In the pantheon of Disney Channel love interests, Donny is... there. He’s the generic popular guy who works at the bait shop and plays guitar. He exists solely to be the trophy for whichever girl "wins." But that weirdness is its strength

But interestingly, the film subverts this too. The final act does not revolve around Donny choosing a girl. It revolves around the girls choosing each other. Carter sabotages her own chance at the dance crown to help Rosie escape back to Costa Luna. Rosie, in turn, refuses to leave until Carter is safe. Donny is almost an afterthought. For a 2009 teen flick, prioritizing the female friendship over the romantic subplot was quietly revolutionary. Let’s be honest: The third act goes off the rails in the best way. General Kane invades a high school harvest dance in Louisiana. Armed mercenaries crash a pageant being held in a gymnasium decorated with crepe paper. It is absurd

Probably because it is weird. It lacks a catchy soundtrack (the only song is the forgettable "One and the Same"). It doesn't have a villain you can dance to. It has a plot involving extradition treaties and witness protection.