“That’s not a goal,” Lin Wei said softly. “It’s a receipt. Paid in full.”
He closed the book. The Complete Works of Watchman Nee sat on his lap, but for Lin Wei, the lesson was no longer in the pages. It was written on his weary, finally peaceful, heart. The Complete Works of Watchman Nee - Grace In Christianity
But then he read a passage that stopped his breath. Nee described a Christian trying to be humble. The man clenches his jaw, lowers his voice, and forces a smile. He calls this "victory." But inside, his pride is boiling. Nee wrote: “The effort to suppress the self is not the cross; it is civil war. Grace is not God helping you to be better. Grace is God agreeing to live His life through you instead of you trying to live yours for Him.” “That’s not a goal,” Lin Wei said softly
A young woman named Mei, struggling with a new addiction, sat next to him. She was crying. The Complete Works of Watchman Nee sat on
Lin Wei realized that for twenty-two years, he had been trying to get God to love him. He had missed the starting line. God already loved him. Grace wasn't the fuel for the engine of his effort; grace was the mechanic who told him the engine was junk and replaced it with His own.
Lin Wei had been a Christian for twenty-two years, and for twenty-two years, he had been exhausted.