The Final Tuesday Night Club Ride Of 2019- The Watt King Pulleth- -

This is the sermon of the Final Tuesday Night Ride. The Watt King pulleth not to win, for the segment is his by birthright. He pulleth to remind us of the hierarchy. In the church of the road bike, there are tourists, there are racers, and there are Kings. The King does not pull to break your legs; he pulls to break your spirit. He pulls to teach you that no matter how many intervals you did on Zwift, no matter how expensive your carbon wheels, there is always a sales manager from Akron who can ride you off his wheel while holding a full conversation with the ghost of Eddy Merckx.

The ride begins deceptively. As we turn onto Old Mill Road, the pace is chatty . Mark sits third wheel, hands on the hoods, looking almost bored. He is a shark circling the ice floe; he is simply deciding which seal to eat first. At the three-mile mark, the KOM segment appears—a two-mile rolling drag that spits on the concept of a flat road. This is the throne room. This is the sermon of the Final Tuesday Night Ride

When he goes, he goes like a dispensation of justice. The wattage spikes not from 250 to 400, but from 250 to a number that cannot be displayed on a standard head unit without an error code. His pedal stroke is a piston; his back is a flat table of cruel intention. For the first thirty seconds, we cling to his wheel like drowning men to a life raft. Then the elastic stretches. First, the weekend warriors pop, their legs turning to balsa wood. Then the crit racers, who thought themselves fit, begin to gurgle and fade. Finally, only three remain: the Watt King, his faithful lieutenant (who will be dropped in precisely 47 seconds), and me, clinging to the ragged edge of my anaerobic capacity. In the church of the road bike, there

Then he does the unthinkable. He looks back. Not with malice. With pity . He taps his power meter. He shakes his head, almost sadly. And then he accelerates. The ride begins deceptively

His name is Mark. Officially, he is a 42-year-old regional sales manager with a VO2 max that suggests a clerical error in his birth certificate. Unofficially, he is the monarch of the asphalt, the sovereign of the suffering. For eleven months, he has endured our half-wheel attacks and our ill-timed surges. He has sat on the front into a headwind, spinning 110 rpm while the rest of us drafted in his wake, sipping from our bottles and negotiating the terms of our own surrender. He has been patient. He has been merciful. No more.